All You Need for a Tuesday

 My precious friend was my rock a couple of weeks ago. If not for her support, I can say without a shred of doubt, that I would not still be alive. She shared this on Facebook today and I’m re-posting because maybe someone who reads this will reach out to someone who will listen without judgment, allow them to be depressed, and remind them that there is light. 

“I hadn’t shared anything about Mark since his passing, because I haven’t spoken to him in 20 years. It feels strange to be so sad over the loss of a friend when you hadn’t been friends since entering adulthood. 

Mark lost his battle with mental illness. I know suicide is so hard for people to understand. It can seem selfish and thoughtless. The irony of the loss of Mark is that within those same days, I was in close contact with a sweet friend who was confiding in me that she didn’t think she had any fight left in her. Mental illness has weighed her down for years and there have been multiple times that she has wanted to give up. This time was different though. I knew she was holding on the the last shred of life she could. I knew she was serious. I knew that she was going to end things. Her treatments weren’t working. The system wasn’t working. And she was exhausted. From 2 different states, we talked extensively about her wanting to go and me wanting her to stay. We discussed who would hurt and how they would hurt if she left. We talked about the reality of her suffering and the hopelessness she was feeling. It was Saturday when she promised me she wouldn’t end it until Monday after her appointment with her dr. We talked about why she would keep that promise, and we talked about how I understood that Monday was all she could give me. I understood that there was no Tuesday for her. 

When Monday came, her dr heard her desperation and began her on a new treatment. She was given a little shred of hope, and because of that she found her Tuesday. She’s made it many more days since then, and she’s living again, not because she promised me she would, but because she again sees there might be a reason to keep going. 

I hadn’t talked to Mark in 20 years. But I know of at least 20 other people, who probably also hadn’t had contact with him that would have sat with him and made him promise to give us until Monday. I so wish he had known that so many of us would have sat with him. 

Mental illness is such a thief. It takes everything that it can. People don’t end things because they are selfish or thoughtless. They end them because they have stayed as long as they could possibly figure out how to. Those of us that don’t struggle this way can’t possibly understand how hard it is to keep going. And the system is hard and often not helpful and the illness is unrelenting. 

If you are struggling, please reach out. There are new treatments coming out that are making great strides in defeating devastating drug resistant depression. New advances are happening all the time. One tiny sliver of hope is all you need for Tuesday.”